Every married person knows that marriage is not a picnic neither does it always turn out as generally expected.

These days,  Marriage is almost like ‘a game of chance’. Some couples are truly ‘living the dream’ while some are leaving in ‘hell on earth’ in their marriages (different strokes for different folks they say).

Indeed, marriages are created by God Almighty. As a matter of fact, marriage is an institution created by God for His own pleasure.

Marriages are God’s own will for man but, the quality of spouse  you decide to be with is entirely left to you, for He gave man the command – whosoever finds a wife, — Finds a good thing and obtains favor from God; but,  today what we have,  are lots of tears and sorrow in the course of marriage.

Many have lost their lives, lost their minds, and health all in the name of marriage.

Some people have jumped from one spouse to another because they are still looking for that perfect person (which doesn’t exist).

While some are still hoping to God that their marriage will be restored from the brink of despair it has sunk to.

Sometimes women are the architect of their misfortunes, For various reasons known to them they left a man with  Vision to Chase a man with a Television and today they are crying today. 

 

these are the kinds of men that follow and monitor their wives as if they are the police. This attitude casts a big shadow over their wives marital bliss. Always suspicious of everything they do. These type will drive his wife crazy with threats and accusations to the extent that some of the women become tempted to do the unthinkable in order to wrest some sort of power from the man.

The sociopath has little or no conscience. They are no different from psychopaths, they pretend to marry and then— boom they strike! These are types that easily join secret societies for influence and they find nothing wrong in using their children for ritualistic sacrifices to gain more esoteric powers and political influence. Most men who are ritual killers, serial killers, rapists, kidnappers, and murderers are in this category.

Photo – op/Showcase Husband:

These are the kinds of husbands that stand out when it is time to take the glory. You only see them on their children’s graduation, wife’s celebration day,  they are there to take the credit for being good Husbands only when the occasion calls for it. Being hands-on is not their Forte.  When it comes to doing the needful they are unavailable.

These are the kinds of men that don’t love their wives or are not entirely sincere with their motives in the marriage. These types end up marrying another wife or breaking the heart of the woman who sacrificed all for him. Serial husbands are examples of these fake husbands. Funny enough these men always regret their decision when they fall for fake women who don’t love them back. ( Someone shout comeuppance!)

These are the kinds of husbands that suffer their wives intentionally,  all because they are inherently wicked and evil. These types make their wives live in hell in their own home. She cooks,  serves,  wash his clothes, iron them, takes care of the kids alone, washes his car, runs errands for him, goes to market even in conditions that the average person would frown upon — yet he will refuse to make life a little comfortable for their wives. They drive and she walks, they travel and spend money on others and give their wives crumbs. She begs others for stuff her husband should give her easily. Such men would not buy phones or credit for their wives but would spend a lot of money outside the home for others. Most women, married to these kinds of men, lie for a living because they will have to make up stories for the shortcomings of their husbands.

The Manic Husband :

These types of husbands are mentally ill (diagnosed /undiagnosed), yet they live, look and act normal. Then they date and marry and the women find themselves living in a twilight zone, living a nightmare that never ends. From their high octane temper tantrums to violent attacks too, insane requests to,  frivolous spending and almost bankrupting themselves to, depression and actual mental breakdown that ruins trust and ultimately the marriage.

 These kinds of husbands have vowed to sleep with everything that walks. There are no boundaries, wife’s friends, wife’s sisters, nieces, aunties, in-laws, their children’s girlfriends and so on. some even tell their wives to bring their friends for them in exchange for their position to be secured in the marriage or else they take another wife.  These men prowl from one night club to taverns, shebeens, and beer parlors reveling like no tomorrow, wasting resources and ending up dying in strange places.

These are the types of husband that are only ‘husbands when need be’. They show up unannounced and leave without telling the wife when they are returning. Your typical average polygamist is a bandaid husband because it never solves the need to have someone to call yours. This type of men is not seen or heard from by neighbors only the women in question talk about their lives with these men (Especially those who are married to someone else’s husband).

These kinds of husbands are a pain. They can’t keep secrets, they can’t make decisions for themselves and their children without consulting their mothers or their families. These types listen to gossip about their wives and will not investigate before lashing out on their wives.

They put their wives needs last, his needs are uppermost and the wife is there to baby him and if she is not capable of being a wife, caregiver and mother all rolled into one then she’s shown out the door by his parents or he reports everything between them to people to judge.

may be hard worker or a good person in general but, not sensitive about her feelings, may also not be a good provider for the family, it may be that he is not the man that she truly wanted/needs to be married to. This is why some men cry out “what do women really want ” he feels he is everything a woman should want yet he falls short and fails to see her own needs and desires in the marriage. Such men end up hating women and being mean to women in general because he feels that despite his own good intentions he is not appreciated and he changes his behavior and starts doing things out of character.

These are the kinds of husbands that are never satisfied with whatever their wives do, they have unreasonable and unrealistic expectations for their wives, will never compliment her cooking, dressing, her manner of speaking, intelligence or hard work rather they will be talking about how their mother, their grandmother, teacher, colleague did the same thing. Some go as far as asking for an accounting from the money she spends.

These kinds even bar their wives from certain areas of the house, restrict them from certain guests, make sure that they remind them of how she is a step-down for him and he is a step up for her.

These types won’t work, can’t work- kind of man. Some have turned down lucrative jobs and opportunities because it will make them get up early in the morning or make them work harder than they are used to. They marry so their wives can take care of them and carry all the responsibility including theirs,  alone and, they feel okay with such.  Push the kids to their mom when they come for stuff, they scream “go and meet your mother!” sees no reason why people want him to do something. Rather he will be blaming his misfortune on the wife and her family instead of in his own miscalculations and misadventures in life.

These types of husbands are into verbal, emotional, physical and spiritual forms of abuse. The scars they live are visible and invisible at the same time. They stop at nothing to humiliate and ridicule their wives.  Hurt you and make you feel like you are the scum of the earth. Empty your heart and soul of life and love and fill it with hate and sorrow just for the misfortune of loving them. Such men are proud and arrogant and believe that they are God’s gift to women.

These types of husbands, make the most of your life a game to them. They see their wives as weak, stupid, for failing to recognize how conniving they are and they go all out to use the woman till she’s got no more life of her own and he is done, finishing her off financially, socially, and alienating her from friends and family,  he dumps her or worse -— finishes her off. They used all the tricks from gaslighting to blackmail and by the time the woman realizes, she is all alone, broken and mentally unstable to fit into society she was once the life of. The woman married to such men is usually a shadow of themselves when you see them.

These types of husbands make themselves Lord of the manor they rule with iron fist, their wives are glorified slaves in the home, she is to be seen and not heard. They make sure, everyone knows that they are in charge of the family and the little wife is no different from others in the house. These kinds of men find it difficult to greet or be courteous to their wives friends and family. They are rude and everything is on their own terms: when the family goes on vacation, what they eat, wear, who they talk to and how much they spend all depends on their mood. If he’s happy, everyone gets to play, if he’s sad or angry, then everyone pays. When he leaves home the wife and kids are happy and the circle of fear continues when he returns home.

These types of husbands, whine and nag about everything. They will not lift a finger to help their wives, no matter how much, she needs the help. Even when he does, he is quick to remind her of so and so times, he had done this or that for her. They are always counting what this person in their wife’s family did to them or to someone else and whining continuously to make their wives feel guilty in showing them more love. At the very least, they are short-tempered and selfish most of the time.

These types of husbands are addicted to women,  sex, drugs, alcohol, food, excessive partying, and some really weird stuff. They are so difficult to handle or manage because handling an addiction is not a walk in the park. You are practically living a nightmare with these kinds of men. Your life is gone as you now live to cater to them as if they were your children. Marrying an addict is a very serious problem and only God can deliver one from such horror.

These kinds of husbands are usually the big bad boys in town. Their mantra is getting rich by every means possible.  They make the police most wanted list all the time. Some of them have visited jail more times than they have visited home to see their parents. Every scam in town, he knows. Every police station, go- to person, he knows. This is part of their charm. They solve problems no matter how complicated or complex they have a solution until they get caught.

The Hustler provides everything his woman needs but, she is not to question the source of wealth but sit back like a good little girl and enjoy the largesse. These hustlers are also sweet talkers that women fall easily for their tricks. From pimping to drug pushing to selling stolen goods,  scamming,  to laundering the Hustler is game. Until they are arrested before some of these women find out their husband’s true source of wealth.

These are the caring, doting husbands of one wife. These men are both good and caring. He actually loves his wife and doesn’t do anything to offend her. He goes more than the required mile to make her happy. Her frown is his fright. He helps her with chores, dotes on her, makes her feel secure and safe with him. Keeps his body for her and cherishes her thoughts on issues pertaining to issues he cares about. When he comes home she is happy and when he is out she can’t wait for him to return. He is most of all God fearing. A lover of Jesus who can only love like Him.

These are the types that are not husband material at all. They are only good to have as friends. I remember an old acquaintance once quipped, ” let’s all pray that we don’t make our boyfriends — husbands and then make our husbands — boyfriends!”. Funny as it sounds, she was right because so many women are crying today because they are currently married to someone they should have dated and dated who they should have married. In other words, they rejected their true husband by being shortsighted. Now they live in misery.

Whatever your situation is (married or single), no matter how much you have suffered,  it is best to pray. On the other hand, if you are about to get married, seek God’s will and then go ahead and marry but,  if you are already married and you find your husband falls into one of these categories, well, don’t worry. God is faithful to His children if you care enough to bring it in prayer and intercession, He will surely straighten out the crooked places in your home today in Jesus Mighty Name Amen.